Carbon Footprint by Zöe Sîobhan Howarth-Lowe

In my lifespan,

so far reaching 22 years,

I have owned 3 computers,

3 games consoles (despite the fact I don’t really use them)

and 3 mobile phones,

the first of which would have lasted forever, but,

in a freak accident my dad ran his car over it.

I can’t drive, but I did have a moped –

but I crashed twice and got rid.

I have voted in 1 election – (you made me)

but I won’t say who for. (Yellow)

I can ride a bike, swim (just about), speak French

and have that crazy allele that lets me roll up my tongue.

I have drank 0 cups of tea, smoked 0 cigarettes –

the only nail polish I own is black.

I have eaten:

1516 Apples

1232 Loaves of Bread

243 tins of Baked Beans

3125 Carrots

669 kilos of Spuds

181 kilograms of Chocolate (mostly without you)

and 345 Chickens.

I have bought over 2000 books,

borrowed over 3000

and never returned at least 5 (one’s yours, I’m sorry).

I have spoken 32,301,600 words

written nearly as many,

but lost most of them in workshop.

I have had 30,025 dreams,

most of which were nightmares,

some in black and white,

some sound-only, (but always your voice)

and some so real – they remain

like false memories –

when I wake up the next morning.

I have blinked 119,376,303 times,

walked over 4450 miles,

cried 34 pints of tears (25 pints were for you),

shed 588 skins (but for you I haven’t changed once),

experienced over 834,200,000 heartbeats,

I have lost my virginity once,

had sex with one person,

and (I think you should know this)

have only ever fallen in love once.