& always you by David McLean

there is this anxious night & always you i cannot precisely see. Emma i wait as always & love is in me a helicopter, a bizarre computer, a remote control. beauty is not my fault & i am a naked man trudging through snow & happy are the fires that burn distances, the slow rise of the sap to leaf the trees a meaning.

i need you a diagram an equation to show me the precise possibility of love & jungle. here is your word, Emma, here is the anxious that cripples us, night & dust. i forgot i do not wait, we wait together & you must give me your anxious like an innocent illness so i can return it love to make it taste like nothing, the most lovable perfectly normal everyday suffering.

& you are the best of me forever, my blood my marrow, the idiot scars over my gray & damaged skin & whatever it is in them that still listens. i raise my finger to my lips & give it to this sacred wind to tell me your broken, your heart which is home & love was always you – the wind will not let me live my ignorance & it sings Emma, Emma forever.

you dance my absence – i do not exist apart from text except that i love you, not words but blood & heart.

..

Details of David McLean’s various books % chapbooks at http://mourningabortion.blogspot.com/ & http://davidcmclean.wordpress.com/. A ninth full length is due from Antiseptic Press & called EMMA FOREVER. These poems are from that book http://podphotopodmore.wixsite.com/antiseptic

My Blogspot. & my WordPress.

too much human, chapbook & antinatalist manifesto from Black Editions

of desire & the desert, poems from Black Editions

passion is dead flesh, chapbook from Black Editions

Henrietta remembers, novel from Oneiros Books

flesh & resurrection, novel from Oneiros Books 

nobody wants to go to heaven but everybody wants to die, poems from Oneiros Books

things the dead say, poems from Oneiros Books

of desire & the lesion that is the ego, poems from Oneiros Books

Zara & the ghost of Gertrudepoems from Oneiros Books

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