Escape from VISA and MASTERCARD Island by Steve Sibra

Days when the fever broke

Ma remembered it like right now, right here:

“Sister Incontinence and her Bowel Movement Boys

skated down Room Temperature Boulevard

Kayaks made of orange peel piloted by the Walrus twins

Fab and Gear

and soon enough the silver lining of Cloud Nine

turned into just so much angel dust twisting in your kidneys.”

We poked and giggled with glee.

Here she goes, we thought.


“Artificial Bear Grease molested our Monster Magnets,” she rattled

“Serene daredevils filled cinder blocks with razor blade ice cream

made bowling pins out of elephant teeth

and it came to be known as  the  ‘Malicious Malnutrition

of the Magazine Article Five,’ a real page turner.”

Her eyes bright and nostrils flared.


“In the sequel they roasted the pigeons in skunkspray skillets

while Captains of Industry spoke of their lives with twits and twats

a halfway house for bird dogging artifacts

like Doctor Faintgoat Thunderkeg and Pint Size Pete.”

Ma now gasping for air, the vapors rolling over her

like a White Freightliner over roadkill –

we knew the climax was knocking at the door –


“Whisk us off to Daveno City,” she croaked. “Let us ‘live out our days’

with cardboard bankbooks and old railroad ties

dipped in egg whites and deep sizzled

(in direct violation of the Geneva Convention).”

We could almost hear the bones  breaking as her voice splintered


“Redemption is just a long cool walk down the Ivory Road

in the shadow of Used Paperback Mountain.”

We thought she must expire

but she paused  –  time was still –  and then she took a breath.


“Now  you young ‘uns  go conceal yourselves

before the new sun rises

and scorches again this old, cold Cursed Earth.”

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