Scream by Fianna (Fiona Russell Dodwell)

A hot red scream
swoops on
a sandstorm tornado,
abrading my cheeks and howling round distant dunes
to obliterate the words you mouthed
beyond this one closed door:
it hasn’t worked; things will have to be re-done.
The ether dripped on gauze, in eyes;
the struggling, the holding down
and
drowning.
The silent masked figures are
in the high white room
oblivious to no and no and no.
I’m forcing myself to swim through murk with weighed-down limbs,
waking as waves of pain
erase my body;
as I struggle to
bear witness
to                                                          ,
to blank eyes I can’t reach,
to anyone familiar
long gone.
No amount of comforting can stop
the presence of that absence;
the fall into the ice-cold
room in the belly of
the scream.

The scream
room, in the belly of
the fall into the ice-cold.
The presence of that absence
no amount of comforting can stop.
Long gone
to anyone familiar,
to blank eyes I can’t reach.
To                                                       –
bear witness,
as I struggle to
erase my body,
waking as white waves of pain.
I’m forcing myself to swim through murk with weighed-down limbs,
oblivious to no and no and no.
In the high white room
the silent masked figures are
drowning.
And
the struggling, the holding down,
the ether dripped on gauze, in eyes –
it hasn’t worked!  Things will have to be re-done
beyond this: one closed door
to obliterate the words you mouthed,
abrading my cheeks and howling. Round distant dunes
a sandstorm tornado
swoops on
a hot red scream.

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3 thoughts on “Scream by Fianna (Fiona Russell Dodwell)

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