iCalculate by iDrew

when gemma and me were 15

out on the hunt

for good times with cheap wine

and killer a-k47 weed

we had a 99 on southend seafront

pretending to be suggestive with the flake

pulled some cute lads on the make

got fingered in peter pan’s playground


later that night

in the salty dark

my first 69 was under that pier

the longest in the world (the pier

not the …) sand in my hair

not to mention the boy muck

that tasted euck


after we got served in

this cornershop offie – bought 8 cans

got in a right two and eight

hit the amusement arcades

he said i brought him luck

played the slots ‘till the feds turned up

some one had dialed 999 ‘cos

by the crooked house these

blokes were having a ruck

then i was pink candyfloss sick


asked me back to his for a

nightcap drink

but gem and me caught

the 11.39 back to barking

then home and got a proper nag

grounded for 2 weeks

gemma got a month

brushed my teeth about 20 times

but yay

go girl

i’d got his number



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